A Little Dream Come True

About 2 years ago, I had to let go of a few of the things that made me 'me' to make room for a new self-definition. I love my identity as a mom, it's changed me in many ways and unleashed a new level of love, commitment and passion within me. Over the last few months I've felt a bit of an awakening - I'm beginning to carve out a new place for myself - a space where the 'old me' meets the 'new me'. So - when Dan (my farrier and Lola's caretaker) called and asked if I'd like to take Lola on a trail ride into the mountains, my first instinct was 'yes. Yes, YES, YES!'. However, an emphatic 'No!' came out of my mouth, almost automatically. I quickly replaced the 'no' with a 'yes'. Although, I wasn't convinced I was ready. At all. I hadn't ridden in a year and a half! I had only ever taken Lola on one trail ride - it was short and basic. I was embarrassed by my hesitancy and fear. These are not common feelings for me - but as a mom, they are becoming more familiar. I dug deep and found Erin, the one I told you about in my first post about Lola. The 10 year old me. I committed to the trail ride, and subsequently began to freak out. The night before the ride I barely slept (this time, no thanks to Everett). The forecast called for steady rain, thunder and lightning. It's spring, bears are coming out of hibernation and are foraging for food. Lola has never crossed a stream before, how will she handle the 4 we need to pass? I somehow quieted these worries and slept for a couple hours. I met Dan out at the barn and in no time we loaded the Lola and Dan's horse Ripper into the trailer and arrived at our starting point in Kananaskis Country. Lola was cool as a cucumber as she exited the trailer. She was dozing off as I groomed her and saddled her. I couldn't believe how relaxed she was. I needed to some of that! I mounted - and within an instant all of my apprehension disappeared. Both Lola and I released a deep breath, and began our beautiful journey. The ride was incredible. The weather was beautiful. Lola was confident, strong and smart. Horses will amaze you, she knew to step in and take care of me. I love her. We crossed fast flowing streams, climbed mountainsides, witnessed bear tracks, deer, owls and hawks. We lunched in a meadow as a dark cloud came and began to hail on us. Thankfully, it only lasted a few minutes - just enough to add some colour to the day.
It was just what I needed - time with my sweet Lola and time with my old self. The whole day was packed with new 're-experiences' and moments of mindful bliss! I can't wait to do it again!